Tag: inspiration

Mask Off

Shower, dress, check your face 

Do your make up, check your face

Don’t look too long in those deep brown eyes, 

just check -just glance 

do you look “okay?”

Do you look stable?

Do you look saved? 

Do tears still mean sin?

Does this stoic countenance that you cannot shake mean defeat? 

No, warrior woman this is the face of battle.

Victory rarely brings out the smile. 

That charismatic, magnetic, energy they want.. traded for bruised knees and puffy eyes. 

I’m not sad. I’m not happy. These temporal emotions are not mine for the taking. 

I’m chosen. I’m focused. I’m tired. I’m fighting. 

I’m making time for prayer and fasting and  faithing. 

I’ve not the commodity of faking. 

So, I can’t always hide my battle scars some days blood will seep through my pretty painted face.

Residue of Ashes on my chin.. the stench of yesterdays win may linger on today.

And I’ll show up and I’ll raise holy hands and tears they may fall, as they should, for Grace and Mercy has a way of making me feel some type a way. 

There are times when everything is fine,but nothing’s okay. 

Like yeah my house is on fire but “ I KNOW” God will make a way. 

I won’t deny my humanity but I must survive it each day. 

I thought, ministers gotta look the part. Shine your light and smile big and bright,but what if that throws a newbie off? That thinks salvation is all smiles and dancing, that salvation means never falling down, but only advancing. That if you can’t feel him, that means he’s gone and if you’re not shouting on Sunday morning then somethings wrong. 

There are days on this journey when nothing feels right.. you’ll try and pray in the morning. Nothing.Then you’ll try again at Night. 

There are days on this journey when life is pure bliss, if Gods doing anything at all you’ll be top on HIS list. 

But through it all, you don’t have pretend, you don’t have to fear what you feel, don’t hold it all in. 

Just trust, Just know, that our God understands . He gave you emotions. They are apart of his plan. 

Leave it at home, leave it in your car. I’m saying MASK OFF. He wants who YOU Are. 

From Stumbling Blocks to Starter Blocks

I think it’s funny how the things that used to torment me and and hold me captive in my mind, behind bars of guilt and shame are now the the very same things I use as fuel to wage war on the enemy and come into alignment with whoI truly am. Pause. 

My biggest insecurity growing up were my teeth, my self esteem was on the floor in regards to how my teeth looked and the lack of confidence made me incredibly fragile. That pain and ridicule I endured as a result of my smile would become the fuel to push me into my career in dentistry. The very thing that held me back for a season in my life, propelled me in another. 

When I was 20 I went into braces. The confidence I gained and relationships I built with my dental staff made a mark in my life that has  lasted 15 years. My career has not only enabled me to bring my family out of poverty but it’s also helped in developing my interpersonal skills. Like many other careers it’s challenged me in ways that make me a more well rounded person. 

And we’ve seen scenarios like my dental story play out time and time again. When the mother of a victim of a drunk driving accident creates a scholarship in the memory of their lost loved one. Or when a pro athlete builds low income housing for single mothers after enduring and being eye witness to their own mother’s struggle for survival. 

Emotionally and spiritually we fall prey to less than imaginable circumstances.. the rape, the miscarriage, the divorce, the untimely or seemingly senseless death of a loved one. Depression that has taken up more than it’s fair share of our lives or toxic cycles that only left us confused and empty. These stumbling blocks should be utilized in the same manner that I used my teeth,the mother used the accident and the pro athlete used his mother’s struggle. As starting blocks. 

I wanted to tell you that these things may have had victory over you at a point in your life.They may have had power to cause pain, embarrassment, and resentment in a season. But that season is over and just like a track runner does, I want you to place those blocks behind you and USE the past and the pain to PUSHyou forward into the newness of life where those things are stuck back where you were and you’re now moving to the finish line.

I pray you can clearly see what is trying to cause you to stumble as you run this race called life and that you begin to clear your path. 

I wanted to tell you I see you crossing your finish line and winning your race because VICTORY was yours from the start. 

Runners to your mark..