Tag: bible

I Wanted to Tell You: El Roi and the Unspoken Prayer

I wanted to tell you… sometimes the most powerful prayers you will ever pray are the ones that never make it past your lips.

El Roi : The God that sees me.
Hagar gave God this distinction in the desert when she felt completely abandoned, overwhelmed, and alone with her child.
He wasn’t just observing her from a distance; He saw her exact burden, her exhaustion, and her silent fears. I’m so glad my God never changes!
For 22 years, I was a single mother. Imagine me ; 18, 21 , 25 years old with the weight of the world pressed firm against my spine. Scared, exhausted, barely sleeping, just trying to make a way out of no way for me and my three. In those years, you don’t just build a life—you build armor. You convince yourself that self-sufficiency is your only survival tactic. You tell yourself, “If I can just make a good wage, if I can carry my own weight, if I prove I don’t need help, maybe I’ll be worth choosing.”

I never asked God for someone to take the bills off my hands. I wouldn’t dare. When you’ve been the sole provider, driving your life for over two decades, you don’t even know how to ask for someone to stand in the gap. You just keep driving.

But El Roi—the God who sees me—was watching the whole time.

He saw every late night. He saw the tired eyes, the heavy breathing, and the silent, unspoken longing to just rest. He saw the young girl at 18 carrying adult burdens, and He saw the woman at 39 still trying to earn her right to be loved.

And then, God did what only God can do.

He didn’t just bring me a husband; He brought me a man who doesn’t need anything from me , who steps up, takes care of myself and my children , and gently looks at me and says, “You can put that down now.”

For the first time in 23 years… I get to breathe.

Do you know what it feels like to finally take a deep breath after holding it for two decades? It feels like holy ground. It feels like a quiet, overwhelming wave of grace. I am so overwhelmed by how intentional, how gentle, and how deeply loving He is toward me.

I wanted to tell you, El ROI sees me and He sees you. Don’t put God in a box my unspoken prayers are being answered left and right. He sees, He knows and He cares.

This isn’t just a life update; this is a praise break. This is a testimony for anyone who is currently in their season of heavy lifting: God sees the prayers you are too tired or too guarded to utter out loud. He knows what you need before you even find the words to ask.

You don’t have to perform to be chosen. You don’t have to pay your way into being loved. El Roi sees you in your dark, quiet spaces, and when He moves on your behalf, the rest will be so sweet you won’t even have the words—just tears of gratitude and hands lifted high.

He saw me. And I cannot thank Him enough.

 “Don’t nobody want the recipe to your Grandmother’s peach cobbler (expletive)”

If you’ve heard the tictok, seen the post or laughed at the reel. It was a hilarious depiction of person trying to conceal what they were texting and their spouse yelling those famous words! But let’s be real a second.. As human beings, most of us are naturally curious. We want to know everything. 

I was recently on a zoom meeting with a group after a Thanksgiving carry in and during introductions everyone stated they needed the recpie to a delightful dessert a young lady made. She kindly stated, “It’s a family recipe, I can’t share it with ya’ll.” 

I liked that. I liked that she made the decision to keep something of importance to her sacred. It added to it’s value and to  hers. People always want to know how you did this or how did you make it to where you are currently. People want to know the next move you’re going to make and with whom you’re making it.  Your exercise routine, the vitamin supplements and Cierra’s prayer for her husband. 

I woke up this morning with a simple thought. A  gentle reminder from God. “I can’t tell it all” 

As I lay in meditation of these four words. I found myself experiencing peace and a renewed hope. I don’t know what the future holds, I really wish I did, but God knows my beginning and my end. He has his pen and has written my story. I want a peek! However, God knows that if I’m given too much information, I’ll begin to move without alignment, I may have a spiritual lapse in the area of humility and think I run something, other than my mouth. lol. 

I may self sabotage, I may share the news with the wrong friend or family member and create an atmosphere of confusion, comparison, and compromise. I may jump too soon, too late or sadly not at all. 

As parents we don’t tell our children everything. And as a Good Father, God can’t tell us everything either, but thankfully, if we know Him, we Know it all works for our good.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

 I wanted to tell you… there’s a reason we can’t have everything laid in front of us giving us each and every next step. Firstly, because our faith is developed in the dark spaces of our journeys. Secondly, we must Know who is holding our pen. Having an intimate relationship with God gives great insight and builds trust that no matter how it goes, I know He’s got me. And lastly, I’ll leave you with this; the recpie for grandma’s peach cobbler wasn’t kept because it tasted like dirt. It wasn’t revealed because it was so, so good. 

That’s how your future looks. Probably a little messy in the beginning, you may be alone while the maker continues adding His ingredients; love, favor, perseverance, grace, strategy, strength, hope, joy, double peace. I don’t know, but I do know in the end that thing, You, and yours is going to be so, so good. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Best kept secret, Eryca Renai